Keep Her Cool
by TurkWriter
Summary: Rukia really does not like dealing with Urahara. A oneshot based on what I think could have happened the night Rukia lost her Shinigami powers.


A/N: This is dedicated to all of the Rukia fans out there who are missing her sorely from the latest chapters of the manga. Bring her back, Kubo!

Disclaimer: I obviously don't own Bleach. No characters are mine; they all belong to must richer people than me.

Kuchiki Rukia was a member of the noble Kuchiki family of Seireitei and therefore did not pout. But, she thought to herself as she followed the taller man down the dark streets of Karakura, if she had been anyone else at this very moment, she would most definitely be whining and moaning about her misfortune. Instead, she simply kept a small scowl on her face as she tried to keep from stepping over any broken pieces of glass that littered the street.

"What's wrong, Kuchiki-dono?" the man striding in front of her practically sang. Rukia clenched her fists. She would not hit him. She would not hit him. She would not hit this fool across his pompous face.

"Nothing," she said through clenched teeth. "I am merely wondering exactly how long this 'little walk' of yours will last." Urahara simply waved his hand, causing the fan in it to open for a moment.

"Oh, Kuchiki-dono," he repeated happily. (She would not hit him. She would not hit him. She must not brutally attack the former Twelfth Division Captain, even if he had been permanently exiled from Soul Society.) "When I found you, you were in Ninami-Kawase. The Urahara Shoten is _all the way_ across town." A large smile lit up his face at that moment, one that made Rukia even more irritated. "You should remember that much about this town at least."

"I have not been here in eight years," Rukia scoffed. "And there was certainly nothing important enough here for me to commit to memory."

"Aww, Kuchiki-dono," Urahara replied in a kicked-puppy voice. "That really hurts my feelings you know." Rukia lightly rolled her eyes and crossed her arms around herself tighter. The white kimono that had appeared on her when that Kurosaki boy had somehow taken most of her power was not exactly suitable for the cool temperature. Today just did not seem to be Kuchiki Rukia's day. First, she had been kicked around by some punk of a human (human!) boy. Then he had gone and been an idiot, forcing her to get bitten (rather painfully) through her torso. The idiotic, spiky-haired teenager had then somehow turned her from Shinigami to what seemed to be an almost normal soul. Rukia shuddered. She was in deep trouble. It took her a moment to realize Urahara was looking at her with a gleam in his eye. "Is everything all right, my dear Kuchiki-dono? I wouldn't want one of the brightest members of the Gotei 13 to be in discomfort! ♥" Oh yes, she now also had to deal with this psychotic, drama-loving man. Somebody really high up must really hate her.

"I am fine," she sneered (or attempted to sneer, she really felt quite cold). "Urahara, if I do not-"

"We're here!" Rukia stopped short and looked up. Yes, they had arrived. It looked exactly as she had remembered it from that time she had been dispatched here with Kotetsu-san. Urahara all but skipped to the door of the shop and opened it. He then waved her in with a flourish. "Welcome back to my humble abode-"

"Save it," Rukia said as she walked past him into the store. Her eyes immediately squinted involuntarily. It was very bright inside compared to the dimly lit streets of Karakura. "Let's get this over with. I do not feel like spending any more than the necessary amount of time near you."

"You're so cold," squawked the convenience store owner/one of the strongest men Soul Society had ever seen. Rukia ignored him as she heard loud footsteps coming from behind a rice-paper door. It slid open to reveal one of the largest men Rukia had ever seen.

"Ah, tenchõ, you're back. Did everything go-?" Tessai started, giving a small bow. His eyes fell upon Rukia's scowl (most definitely not a pout!) and his eyes lit up. He bent into a deep bow. "Kuchiki-dono! It is a pleasure to have you in our store again."

"Yes, yes, pleased. Now can we get to the matter at hand?" I just need-" Her attention was diverted by the boy who walked out from behind Tessai. His red hair was matted across his forehead from bathing and he had a scowl on his face. Rukia stepped backwards from the child. He looked almost like Renji. The boy glared at her for a moment.

"Who the hell is this?" The boy was rewarded with a quick slap to the head. Tessai apologized to her with another bow.

"Excuse him, Kuchiki-dono," he said, still glaring at the boy, who continued to glare but was now also rubbing his head in pain. "She is Lady Rukia, the female head of one of the four great noble families of Soul Society." The red-head gave Rukia another look.

"Well, hurray for her," he drawled before beginning to pick his nose. Rukia's eyes widened.

"Who is this boy, Urahara?" She really was curious. If Urahara did not give her a good enough excuse, she was going to contact Soul Society immediately to make sure Renji had not died and been reincarnated since she had seen him last. Urahara winked at her.

"This is Jinta. You remember him, don't you?" Rukia's gaze went back to the boy. "Of course, we had just gotten him when we saw you last so I can't blame you for not remembering him." He raised a finger as if happiness had elevated it up by itself. "OH! Wait until you see Ururu! She was a toddler the last time you saw her, no? She's grown quite a lot. She remind me a little of you, Kuchiki-dono. Just in looks, of course. The personality is completely different." Realizing Rukia was losing her patience very quickly, he turned back to Jinta. "Speaking of Ururu, can you go get her for me, Jinta?" The boy shrugged.

"What'd ya need her for? I can do things ten times as well as cockroach-bangs can." Urahara wagged the raised finger at his, well, son, she supposed was the term, although they were in no way biologically related.

"Now, now, what did we say about name-calling? I'd really recommend you get your sister; I don't think you'll like what we're about to do." Jinta's eyebrows furrowed as his interest was piqued.

"Huh? You gonna be doin' some weird experiments on this girl or somethin'?" the boy grinned enthusiastically, and rather scarily, as he pointed at Rukia. Urahara shrugged.

"Not too weird, just a simple Gigai operation. It's the part that'll come after I'm afraid you won't like." Jinta's slightly rodent-like face almost twitched in excitement.

"Why! What are you gonna do then!"

"We're going to play dress-up! ♥" Forget it. She was going to back to that stupid boy's home and she was going to remove her powers from him by force. She was then going to return here and make Urahara cry for mercy. Then she would go back to that Kurosaki's house and kick him. Just because.


End file.
